It’s tough times out there — I know, you know, we all know. We’re thinking about the state of the Union, the state of the economy, the state of unemployment, the state of the media, the state of your accounts. It never ends. So I was thinking that maybe we should focus on the State of the Simpsons for your Friday outlook on the weekend. After all, The Simpsons have been teaching us about life for 20 years, so they must be doing SOMETHING right. Author Geoffrey James seems to think so, anyway. He’s created what he feels are The Simpsons‘ top 10 sales tips in these past 20 years, and I imagine you (and your boss) will see the wisdom. I mean, I’m pretty sure we all can agree with Homer’s thoughts on doughnuts — mmmmmm, doughnuts — so why not put some stock in his sales experience? Plus, this gives you a legitimate excuse when your manager catches you watching Simpsons clips at work. Check out James’ blog and view the Hulu clips here.

1. Homer buys illegal fireworks. Sales Tip: Always save your hardest-to-get products for your very best customers.
2. Homer’s work ethic. Sales Tip: If you don’t want to work hard, don’t get a job that involves a commission.
3. Homer visits a gun store. Sales Tip: Don’t bother to up-sell somebody who isn’t going to buy.
4. Homer sells his soul in doughnut hell. Sales Tip: Be sure to work out all those contract details.
5. *My personal favorite — as a great Simpsons moment and as an actual great tip.* Bart gives a sales presentation. Sales Tip: Never let a customer (or anyone else) take control of your sales message.
6. Mr. Burns gets stoned on ether. Sales Tip: If all else fails, get the client’s manager drunk.
7. Homer gets free cable. Sales Tip: If the price is right, it’s easy to close.
8. *I disagree with this tip, because I want clients to make informed decisions/purchases, but can relate to Homer’s conundrum.* Jerry buys a jacket — “No room in my brain.” Sales Tip: Information is overrated.
9. Frank Grimes has a meltdown. Sales Tip: Never obsess about somebody else’s success.
10. Itchy opens a restaurant. Sales Tip: Do you like Itchy’s business model?  Then you should consider selling for Goldman Sachs.

[Source: James, Geoffrey. "Top 10 Sales Tips from 'The Simpsons'." bnet.com. Jan. 15, 2010.]